10 reasons sex is good for you

Need an added incentive to jump in the sack? Here are 10 good reasons.

Here's something to get you in the mood tonight: a 10-year Welsh study found that those who enjoyed an active sex life were 50 per cent less likely to have died during that time than those who did not. And that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sexual health benefits, says body+soul's sex and relationships therapist Dr Gabrielle Morrissey.
"It makes sense that sex is good for you because we need lots of inducements to do it so that we stay on the planet," she says. "Sex involves our circulatory, nervous and muscular systems and brains, so it's a tune-up and workout of everything that's important." Sadly, it's often the first thing to go when our health is on the blink. "We have the attitude that sex is a luxury item instead of a necessity for wellness. We also think of it as something only for the young and strong, but its effects are a bonus as we age." Still need convincing? Here are 10 health reasons to ramp up your sex life:

Less heart attacks and strokes

Films often depict men having heart attacks in the throes of passion, yet the estimates of this happening are about one in a million. Research actually shows that having sex several times a week may cut your risk of a heart attack or stroke in half.
"Sex releases feel-good hormones such as dehydroepiandrosterone and oxytocin," says Dr Darren Russell, president of the Australasian Chapter of Sexual Health Medicine. "You get more blood moving through the blood vessels."

Lowers blood pressure and stress

A small Scottish study exposed people to stressful situations and found that those who had regular sexual intercourse responded better to stress than those who engaged in other sexual activities or abstained. A partner's hug can do wonders, too: a US study found it can lower blood pressure and heart rates in premenopausal women. "Touch releases quantities of oxytocin, so you don't have to orgasm," Dr Morrissey says.

Reduces depression

Those feel-good hormones also help keep depression at bay, although US psychologist Dr Gordon Gallup found that women whose partners did not wear a condom during sex were less likely to be depressed than those whose did. His theory? Semen contains the hormone prostaglandin, which may be absorbed through the vagina and act like an antidepressant. But this doesn't mean you should avoid condoms, he warns.

Prevents osteoporosis

"Men and women who have regular sex have higher testosterone levels, [which] are linked to a lower risk of osteoporosis and bone problems," says Dr Russell. More studies are needed.

Keeps colds and flu at bay

Lots of sex means fewer colds and flu, say researchers from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, USA. They found that having sex once or twice a week increased production of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobulin by a third. A German study found that even masturbation can increase men's white blood cells.

Prevents prostate cancer

Several large studies have shown that men in their 20s who ejaculate frequently (about 21 times a month) can reduce their risk of prostate cancer later in life by a third, compared to those who ejaculate five to seven times a month.  "It doesn't necessarily have to be intercourse," Dr Russell adds.

Relieves headaches

Research shows that sex can alleviate an aching noggin, especially in women. The endorphins and corticosteroids released have an analgaesic effect, alleviating the pain of headaches, arthritis, cramps and body aches. "Endorphins are a natural painkiller," Dr Russell says. The production of oestrogen in women may also ward off period pain.

Improves sleep

Dr Russell prescribes sex for people with sleep problems. "Sex helps people sleep better and is less addictive than things like Valium," he says. Again, it's those powerful oxytocins at work. In turn, sleep boosts mental and physical health.

Keeps you fit

Some experts say that 30 minutes of vigorous sex is comparable to 15 minutes on a treadmill or walking up two flights of stairs, and burns between 360 and 835 kilojoules. Sex works the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Your pulse rate doubles from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as an athlete mid-stride.

Prevents incontinence

The muscles that stem the flow of urine, reducing leakage and incontinence, are given a workout during sex, says Dr Morrissey. "Orgasm is best because the entire pelvic floor contracts." Flexing your pelvic muscles during sex maximises the benefits and makes sex more pleasurable.

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A healthy, safe, love life

Don't get so caught up in the methodology of sex that you forget to look after yourself.

Our sexuality should be a positive expression in our lives. It should be an activity, whether for recreation or procreation, that we enjoy, desire and love. But there's also a serious side to sexuality, and that's taking care of our sexual health. Most of us know this is important, and some of us received the "health message" as the primary, or only, lesson about sex in school. But that's not to say the message is getting through, or that enough people pay attention to it.
Sex is for enjoyment, yes. But to ensure the greatest possible enjoyment, we mustn't only focus on learning the best techniques for pleasure. We must also pay attention to decreasing anxiety about sexual activity, and preventing unwanted consequences. Research (and commonsense) shows that when people feel safer about an activity, and minimise their risks, they feel a greater excitement and level of joy associated with that activity. Any worry is alleviated, so people can then turn their focus entirely on the pleasure they derive from that activity. This is as true for skydiving as it is for sex.
I'm often asked how to know when it is a good time to engage in sex, whether it is for the first time ever, or the first time in a relationship. The answer is reflected in your own individual values, however there are some basic guidelines that can help your decision-making process. I recommend that you're only ready for sex if you can do at least the following three things:

Talk with your partner

Talk with your partner about sex, pleasure, and your sexual histories, as this shows a caring maturity about the subject and for one another. If you can't do this together, what are you doing getting naked and intimate together?

Ask someone older and wiser

For young people, you should also be able to talk with an adult about sex and sexual decision-making, whether with a parent, family member, family friend, nurse, doctor, teacher or other responsible adult. Research shows the decision to engage in sex is often the first self-perceived "adult" independent decision a young person makes. As such, you should be able to demonstrate your adult maturity by asking questions and discussing sex with an adult, finding out everything you feel you need to know before you engage in it.

Protect yourself

Protect your sexual health, and your partner's, by making sure you are both engaging in safer sex.
It used to be thought, and sometimes still is by those who don't know better, that protecting your sexual health meant simply avoiding pregnancy. This is not the case. Not all sexual activities run the risk of pregnancy (particularly of course when the partners are the same gender, but also activities that don't involve penile-vaginal intercourse).
But these activities may still carry sexual health risks. Others still think, "Well, if I catch something, I'll just go to the doctor and get medicine to fix it." That's an option if you happen to contract a sexually transmitted infection that can be treated, and you get symptoms so you know you have it before it does permanent damage to your body.
But the best thing to do is to prevent contracting any sexually transmitted infection in the first place, since some of them can't be cured because they are viral. Examples include genital warts, which come from being infected with the human papillomavirus (HPV).
Once you have the virus, you've got it. The same goes for herpes; it's a virus that can be managed with medication, but not cured.
And there are more serious problems that can occur from engaging in less than safe sex. Some viruses, such as HPV, are known to cause cervical cancer as well as even cancer of the vagina and vulva. So even though HPV may be harmless in some women (up to four in five sexually active women will be infected with HPV at some point in their lives), it's important to protect yourself from risks when it comes to sex.
No-one wants to engage in sex when they think it may be detrimental to their health. This is not an erotic thought for anyone. So rather than fear sex, or associate it with illness and anxiety, it's best to remove the worry by engaging in safer sex, which includes using barrier methods such as condoms and dams, and making safe choices based on your and your partner's sexual health.
Sex can be thrilling without being risky. And sex is hotter when it's healthier.

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Sex during pregnancy

 

You hear a lot about sex to get pregnant and sex after pregnancy, but sex during pregnancy tends to be a bit of a mystery.

This obvious oversight needs to be rectified.

Often people wonder whether sex during pregnancy is safe for your baby, what exactly the logistics are for you and your partner or if sex will even be the same when you're pregnant!

If you're thinking about sex during pregnancy with a mixture of fear and perplexity then sit tight and let us tell you the facts - it's really nothing to be worried about!

Can I have sex when pregnant?
Let's start with something simple, having sex when pregnant is totally normal and if you have a normal pregnacy then there is no reason to stop having sex right up until those waters start to break (might not be terribly comfortable though).

However if you've had an abnormal pregnancy then check with your midwife or doctor first.

In some cases, doctors may recommend you reduce or even stop sexual activity.

- If there is minor bleeding early on in the pregnancy.

- If you have placenta praevia, which means that the placenta is below the cervix.

- If there’s a risk of premature birth.

- If you’ve already had a miscarriage, avoid all penetration for the first 2 months.

- Obviously, when your waters have broken you shouldn't have sex as the risk of infection for the fetus is very high.

Is having sex safe for my baby?
There are many ill-founded myths and fears surrounding sex during pregnancy.

Many worry about hurting the baby, the baby feeling something you'd never want it to, or sex leading to complications like miscarriage, but anyone with a normal, low-risk pregnancy will be able to have sex without any need to worry.

If you orgasm you may feel your baby move around more, however this is due to your heart beat increasing, not because it can feel anything. Also after orgasming you may experience some cramping and sometimes an orgasm can cause mild contractions (most likely in your third trimester) quite like Braxton Hicks contractions, but they are nothing to worry about.

The foetus itself is better protected than you think; the amniotic fluid that surrounds the baby acts as a protective cushion and the mucus plug in your cervix completely protects the baby. Plus as the penis physically can never reach beyond the cervix there is no danger of hurting the baby through penetration.

Will my libido change?
Like most things during pregnancy, your libido is likely to change. You may experience a lack of sex drive, or it may increase, or anything in between!

Some women say that sex is better during pregnancy due to the increase of blood flow to your pelvic area and vagina. Some say that they feel less sensitivity in the clitoris whilst pregnant whereas some notice hardly any changes.

As well as the physical changes in the body, the emotional changes can effect sex drive too. Getting used to feeling comfortable and sexy in your body while pregnant can be quite daunting to some women but with it's important to remember that you're still you and that's what matters and should be celebrated!

So even though every woman's sex drive is different during pregnancy, there are certain patterns to the dip and rise of your libido in each trimester:

First trimester: Sex is often the last thing on a woman's mind due to morning sickness and a greater need for sleep. In addition, your breasts can become painful during sex because arousal can lead to vascular congestion at the chest.

Second trimester: Once the hormonal trials of the first trimester have passed, it’s back on! This second phase of pregnancy is the most fulfilling and is often called the second honeymoon.

Many women find their sex drives and sexual pleasure increase, and sensations are more intense because vascular congestion reduces the opening of the vagina. Plus with those extra curves and voluptuous chests it's hard to imagine how any dad-to-be could resist!

Third trimester: Sex is still possible but it can be uncomfortable due to the size of the bump. In general, sexual activity slows down. The future mother is more focused on the presence of the baby and is more tired, and the baby also moves much more.

Whatever happens to your sex life while you're pregnant, make sure you communicate with your partner and try to talk about your sex life together.

The best positions for sex during pregnancy:
Although there is no official research on which positions are best during pregnancy, there are some that will suit you and your man a whole lot better - we're guessing the less acrobatic the better here.

As well as the fact that you'll be experiences a lot of tiredness, breast tenderness and the physical ostacles presented by your bump make certain positions a write-off.

So when you're thinking about getting intimate with your man make sure to try our top five sex positions during pregnancy:

• Sex whilst spooning (man and woman on their sides) is great as not only are you more intimate with your man, but the heavy uterus won't put pressure on your stomach
• The 'woman on top' position is practical as the bump won't get in the way and allows you to control the depth of penetration.
• The woman on her knees position is a good position because your back does not suffer and a bump won't get in the way.
• Lie on your back with your bum on the edge of the bed, legs bent with your feet perched on the side. Let your partner enter you by standing or kneeling at the side of the bed.
• Try manouvering on top of your partner as he sits on a chair. This is another great position for letting you control the depth of penetration while your partner gets the full benefits of your body.

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8 tips to deal with first night anxiety

About to get married? Well, you are probably wondering about all the arrangements and how you’ll look on your special day. But apart from all the mundane worries, one thought that is probably preoccupying your mind is your first night  or the night right after your marriage.
Often thought to be the night when a couple consummates their marriage, it can be quite scary for some and even lead to anxiety.

Anxiety can be on various levels for both men as well as women. It can range from questions like, ‘Can I satisfy my spouse?’ to ‘What will she/he think of me?’ to ‘what exactly am I supposed to do?’ to as simple as ‘will it hurt?’
While, it can stem from a number of factors like self–doubt, fears, misconceptions, unawareness and lack of information in some cases it can be due to unrealistic expectations. There are some simple tips ways to deal with it:
Tip #1: Start with setting aside some alone time to tackle this issue head-on. Ignoring it or pretending that it is not important will not make it go away.
Tip #2: Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what exactly is making you anxious. Is it the idea of sex or the act in itself? Is it your inhibitions and shyness? Is it self-doubt? Is it that you are afraid of it? Or do you feel it is an act establishing approval or accomplishment?
Tip #3: Talk to your friend or close ones. Tell them about what is making you anxious. You may get their perspective as well as suggestions on how to handle the anxiety.
Tip #4: Get proper information about what to expect, especially if you haven’t been involved in a sexual relationship before. Clear your doubts and become aware of what you can expect.
Tip #5: Talk to your partner. Though today’s generation doesn’t blink twice at the mention premarital sex, there are couples who prefer to consummate their relationship after they get married. Talk to each other about what you expect the first night to be like. Talk even about birth control methods. Try to be open and confide about what you are looking forward to and what you are apprehensive about. This won’t just make you aware about each other, but will also help your partner to be sensitive to your needs and vice versa.
Tip #6: Try not to get bogged down by expectations – internal or external. Remember that the first night is not about proving yourself. Especially for men. This has nothing to do with proving your manhood. Don’t get trapped in that cycle.
Tip #7: Relax. Remember that you have the rest of your married lives to find out more about each other at every level – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. It is not necessary you consummate your marriage on the first night itself. That is an expected notion. It doesn’t have to be your notion. Though do remember to communicate your thoughts to your spouse and be open to their thoughts as well.
Tip #8: Undergoing premarital sex counselling also helps in reducing the anxiety and in understanding yourself better. You can be assured that your fears and anxieties will be addressed to in a professional manner, providing you with the insight you require.
It becomes easier to deal with the anxiety when you understand that the marriage is not just about the first night, it is about everything that follows after. It is not just about creating a memorable night; it is about creating a memorable life together.

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Breaking your penis is possible!

You can’t literally break it because it doesn’t have a bone, but it can rupture. This injury is most likely to occur during bouts of vigorous sex usually in the woman on top, reverse cowgirl or the rear entry position. It happens if the penis bends too much at the base which occurs either when the female partner comes down on the penis at the wrong angle or if she bends too forward or backward.
How do I know if I get one?                    

You will know. The initial symptoms include intense pain, a cracking sound and losing erection immediately. There is also significant darkening of the skin due to a haematoma – a term used to describe the collection of blood in any particular space other than a blood vessel which is similar to a bruise. It’s important to remember that as embarrassing as it might be, a penile fracture is a medical emergency and you should rush to a hospital without delay. Inform your doctor exactly what happened, try and be honest. Do not delay your visit to a doctor because if left untreated it can lead to impotence and only a surgery could fix it.

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Sexual activity related to painful periods, pelvic pain and difficulty in conceiving

Researchers have discovered an association between sexual activity and a disease that results in women’s painful periods, pelvic pain and difficulty in conceiving. The study found a link between contact with seminal fluid and the development of endometriosis, affects about 10 percent women in the reproductive age.
‘In laboratory studies, our research found that seminal fluid (a major component of semen) enhances the survival and growth of endometriosis lesions,’ said co-lead author Jonathan McGuane from the University of Adelaide in Australia. Endometriosis – a condition when tissue that normally grows inside a women’s uterus grows outside the uterus — affects one in ten reproductive-aged women.

The condition’s symptoms vary but include painful periods, pelvic pain, and women with endometriosis may have difficulty conceiving, associate professor Louise Hull from the University of Adelaide, pointed out. ‘This is an important finding and raises the possibility that exposure of the endometrium (the inner lining of the uterus) to seminal fluid may contribute to the progression of the disease in women,’ she noted.
The researchers said more study is needed to uncover what this means for the relationship between endometriosis and sexual activity. ‘We now need to apply these laboratory findings to real life and determine whether the exposure of seminal fluid that occurs naturally during intercourse puts women at increased risk of developing endometriosis. And if modifications to sexual activity could lower the severity of the disease in women with endometriosis,’ Hull said.
The research was published in the American Journal of Pathology.

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20 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Kissing

Kissing is a way to show affection that can be a lot of fun, not to mention having been scientifically proven to give couples a greater emotional connection than physical intimacy. There has even been proof that people remember their first kiss far better and more vividly than their first sexual experience. People don’t tend to over-think or dissect things that are such a joyful part of their lives, but here are a few things that you might not know about the best and most satisfying way to express affection.

The Science of Kissing

There is a scientific word for everything under the sun, and that includes kissing. The term for the study of kissing is “philematology”; the scientific term for French kissing is “cataglottism.”

Speaking of Words

The word “kiss” comes from the Old English “cyssan,” which in turn comes from the proto-Germanic “kussijinan” or “kuss.” These words are believed to have come from the sound that kissing makes.

Work It Out

Locking lips is a physical affair, but exactly how physical? The average person burns about 2 calories for every minute of kissing; a passionate make out can burn up to 6 calories a minute.

Literary Evidence

The kiss is a popular subject for poetry and literature across all languages and cultures. The very first mention of the kiss in written word was in the Four Vedic Sanskrit texts, which dates back to 1500 B.C.

Potty Mouth

It’s widely known that the human mouth is an extremely dirty place. With one kiss, persons exchange anywhere from 10 million to 1 billion bacteria. As gross as that sounds, exchanging a kiss with a sick person is less likely to give you a cold than shaking their hand.

Time Of Your Life

Quantifying all of the daily activities really helps to put things into perspective. The average person does enough kissing to fill up two weeks of his or her life.

A Violent Affair

Kissing is supposed to be nice, but it can have horrible unexpected consequences. In China, a man kissed his girlfriend so hard that he reduced the pressure in her mouth, which resulted in rupturing her eardrum.

Make Out Physiology

There are a great many facial muscles involved in kissing – a full-on French kiss involves up to 34 muscles. The most important of all though is the orbicularis oris, the muscle that allows the lips to pucker.

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Guinness World Record

The current world record holders for the longest kiss belong to Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat of Thailand. On February 14th, 2013 they broke the current smooching milestone with a 58 hour, 35 minute, 58 second long kiss.

A Sensitive Subject

The human lips are extremely sensitive, 100 more sensitive than the tips of the fingers. Not even your intimate bits are that sensitive.

When In Rome

The Romans like the Greeks were famous for intellectualizing everything, even the kiss. They divided them into three categories: a kiss on the cheek or “Osculum”, a kiss on the lips or “Basium”, and the deep kiss or “Savolium”.

French Twist

French kissing may be an incredibly fun and delightful experience, but the classic name wasn’t meant to reflect this. The term came about in 1923 as a dig towards the French culture and how so many thought it was so oversexed.

Origin of the Act

So many scholars are unsure as to whether kissing is learned or instinctual. Because there are plenty of cultures around the world that don’t practice kissing, many lean towards the latter.

Cinematic History

You may see a lot of kissing in the movies nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case. Under the censorship of the Hays Code, which was enforced from 1930 to 1968, on-screen kissing was strictly regulated and only allowed to last a few seconds. When kissing, if one person was lying down then the other person had to be standing or sitting upright; if spouses were kissing on the bed (film spouses slept in separate twin beds), one or both of the couple had to have a foot on the floor.

Alternative Methods

Although a lot of people say giving “Eskimo” kisses is silly, most wouldn’t admit otherwise. An average of 95% of men and women admit to enjoying rubbing noses every once in a while.

Written Word

You may know that X’s and O’s are the written shorthand for kisses and hugs respectively. What you may not know is that the X is not just a randomly assigned letter – its meant to represent the shape the lips make when they pucker.

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Literary Symbolism

Kissing is used as a very powerful metaphor seen throughout art and literature. The two most commonly seen are the kiss of life, also called “The Breath of God”, and the kiss of death, also referred to as “The Judas Kiss”.

You May Kiss The Bride

It would be easy to assume that the husband kisses his new bride at the end of a wedding ceremony as a symbol of love, but that would be assuming incorrectly. In fact, the act can be traced back to ancient Rome where kisses were used to complete and sign personal contracts.

Getting High

When you kiss someone for the first time, the neurotransmitter dopamine is released, a feel-good hormone that makes you crave more. Unfortunately, dopamine can also make you lose your appetite and make it very difficult for you to fall asleep.

Righty-Tighty

When going in for a kiss, about two-thirds of people tilt their heads to the right. German researcher Onur Güntürkün discovered this not by surveying people but by spying on 224 unknowing American, German, and Turkish couples.

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